We live in an age of instant gratification. Our children are growing up in an age where gratification is not delayed or earned in the same ways it may have been in the past. For this reason, it’s important to teach our children the virtue of gratitude.

There are many virtues that our children have to learn when they are young. They need to learn how to share and how to take turns. These are skills that we want them to learn when they are young and that we teach them; we don’t expect them to just pick these up. This is important to keep in mind when we think of gratitude. Although living by example may encourage your children to show gratitude; it is also a skill that should be taught.

Gratitude is a mindset that is developed through environment and the way in which we guide our children. As a parent, by practicing and encouraging gratitude, you are doing more than just teaching your children to say thank you and have good manners. You are helping them to develop a way of thinking that will help them be healthier and happier individuals that connect with the world around them. When you do not take the time to teach gratitude, you risk raising children that feel entitled and as a result may end up feeling perpetually disappointed as they grow up.

So how can you teach gratitude? Adults wanting to improve their gratitude often begin gratitude journals. Although this is beneficial, it does not need to be so formal for children. Find ways to infuse gratitude into your daily conversations. Depending on your child, you may want to have a daily gratitude routine. In our household we say our ‘grateful’ in the car on the way to school. For my daughter and me, this sets the tone for the day. For others, they like to do it as part of morning devotions or nighttime prayers. It doesn’t really matter when you do it; it is just beneficial to get into the routine of doing it.
If you are just beginning a gratitude routine with your children, you will need to model it. The concept can seem quite abstract and it will need to be a little more concrete in order to get it off the ground…especially for young children. Also, remember that there don’t need to be any conditions on your child’s gratitude. For example, one day you may get something deep such as, “I’m so grateful for the sun rises every morning.” But don’t be alarmed if the next day you get something like, “I am so grateful that mommy finally gave me CoCo puffs for breakfast this morning.” The key is remembering that you are teaching your child to slow down, be in the present, and be thankful for both the significant and seemingly insignificant things in their lives.

For older children and teens, you may suggest a gratitude journal. This is a fantastic way to help them be more mindful from an early stage in life. Continuing with a practice such as this one will give your teens the fuel they need in order to be able to deal with stressful and sometimes overwhelming emotions such as anger, shame, fear, and hostility.

There are a number of other activities that can also increase the spirit of gratitude in your household. These include:

• Deciding on good will projects that you will take on as a family
• Encouraging generosity amongst siblings, family members and friends
• Encouraging giving
• Creating an environment where children have joy in giving and understand the value of giving as opposed to focusing on receiving

As parents, it’s important that we remember that many of the values we want our children to have need to be taught. Gratitude is one of them. Take time to create not only a tone of gratitude in your family, but practices that reflect this tone.

Albert Einstein, as an intellectual genius, once said, “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” In fact, many individuals who are seen as ‘intellectuals’ were often described as curious. Do you know what other group of people are routinely described as curious…children.

As a mother of a one-year-old and soon to be six-year-old, I can with definite certainty, and not needing any science to back me, say that children are born curious. They remain curious for as long as we foster that curiosity. Think of a baby: once they get out of the newborn stage, they are ready to explore. They constantly want to explore the world. They use their senses to experience the world. Much of their day is spent being curious! They find different ways to look at, taste, touch, and hear the things that interest them. It may be as simple as first banging their spoon accidentally on their high chair tray. They bang it, hear the sound, and do it again because their curiosity has been piqued and they like what they hear!

As our children get older, and they begin to understand what they should taste and what they should not, curiosity starts to take on other forms. Curiosity may not only come in the form of where they allow their play to go, but also with the adults and older siblings around them being constantly asked ‘why?’ Although ‘why’ can get quite annoying, and many parents including myself may try to find ways to shut down the ‘why’ question out of sheer exhaustion…it’s important to remind ourselves that many problems are solved and more efficient strategies found by individuals who dare to be curious and ask questions.

Our children need a safe space in which to be curious. When we encourage our children to be curious, whether it is reading books on topics of interest, making potions in the back yard, or simply asking questions, we are encouraging them to keep their minds active. We are moving them away from passive thinking and making them more active thinkers.

Children who are more curious are also more observant. Whether it be in their environment, or in the solving of a math problem, their curiosity encourages them to look at things from a different perspective. 

So how exactly can you nurture curiosity in your children.

1. Remember that children learn through play. Encourage unstructured play time in which they can follow their interests and spend time doing activities that peak their curiosity.
   
2. Allow your child to lead. When playing with your child, allow them to take the lead so that you can encourage their curiosity.
3. Model curiosity. Spend times sharing with your child things that pique your curiosity. This may be on a walk outside, or while watching a television program. Think out loud and wonder.
4. Answer their questions. Try your best to answer their questions in an age appropriate way. You may not have all the answers, and this is fine, but we are lucky to live in an era where information can be found extremely quickly. Perhaps make a point of looking up the information together.
5. Ask open ended questions. Stimulate your child’s imagination and thought process by asking open-ended questions. Encourage active thinking and the making of connections.
6. Redirect, don’t discourage. It isn’t uncommon to find a child going down a road of curiosity that you are not comfortable with. Find ways to redirect interests rather than discourage.

Fatherhood has evolved tremendously from the days when fathers hunted and gathered food for their families, or even the times of the Industrial Revolution when fathers often worked exceedingly long, inflexible hours, and their primary goal was to be the main breadwinner. With the 21st century has come many changes and challenges to our traditional gender roles and stereotypes of moms and dads.

Worldwide we can see that fathers are choosing to change their roles. Whether it’s their involvement in their child’s PTA, father- daughter/ father- son days out or paternity leave…we are seeing changes. Parents of today are challenging gender roles in the office, in the community and in homes. Parental duties are being split based on the needs of the household and not solely along traditional lines.

Fathers are becoming more involved in the day-to-day lives of their children. Work-life balance is no longer only a chat happening amongst busy mothers. It is now a conversation for both parents during this 21st century. Fathers are more conscious of the importance of being a constant presence in their child’s life.

With the fast paced everyday life of a busy working father, it’s sometime easy  for him to forget how important it is to take time to play with his children. Playing with your child, whether they are 4 years old or 14 years old can yield amazing results. It has the potential to build and strengthen your relationship, provide avenues for learning, build their self-esteem and self- concept and not to mention be a great stress reliever for dads!

So dads, don’t forget to set aside time regularly to play with your children. When you take the time to do this, you will certainly see the positive impact all around!

 Here are my top 5 tips to incorporate into play time with your children!

1. Allow your child to lead – Allow your child to take the lead when it comes to play. Whether it’s a game of football on the beach with your teenager or baking easy bake muffins with your five-year-old, base your father/child play on their interest.

2. Use play to help build self-confidence – Who better to build a child’s self confidence than a dad during play time? Your time, care and interaction with your child will work wonders on their self-confidence.

3. Find a hobby – Whether it’s Lego building, snorkeling, or playing a sport, sharing a hobby with your child can give you a way to connect with your child on a regular basis.

4. Remember that it’s about fun – It’s easy to fall into a pattern of using play time for ‘teachable moments’ or discipline. Remember that your goal of play should be to have fun with your child. Choose activities with them that will allow you to do this.

5. Unplug – With smart phones and tablets attached to many individuals at the hip, try your best to set aside some time where you can truly unplug and enjoy some good old fashion play!

This article was originally printed in the Sprint 2016 Eddition of Turks and Caicos Parents. The digital version of this issue can be found on their website. www.tciparents.com

“Keep your eyes open. Listen. Follow your curiosity. Ideas are constantly trying to get our attention. Let them know you’re available.”

I recently read Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. Gilbert is well known for novels such as Eat, Pray, Love. I found Big Magic extremely refreshing and as someone who is driven by passion, creativity and curiosity, I was struck by the way that she marries these concepts and found it not only motivating, but inspiring.

Gilbert reminds us that we are all creative beings. The way we look at creativity has changed over the last few decades. In the past when one mentioned creativity, we were looking for the pieces of music or artwork to appear. Creativity is now a part of our day to day living, and an essential for many individuals personally and professionally. Gilbert reminds us that although being creative may make us vulnerable and bring feelings of fear and uncertainty, that allowing ourselves to embrace our creativity is enriching and magical.  

Gilbert’s has always been passionate about writing. In Big Magic she talks about this passion and how it has driven her for a lifetime. For her, writing was a passion that she learned to put very little demands on. Despite experiences that some may feel as failures, she did not abandon her writing, but saw it more so as an essential lifeline for herself. This idea of not putting demands on her passion was one that struck me and one that many of us may want to spend some time thinking about.

There is a constant dialogue in society about finding one’s passion and purpose. This dialogue often makes it seem as though following your passion to your purpose is a destination that is to be reached and once one reaches it, all else will be fine with the world. The reality is that living a life that centers around your passions and your God given purposes is just that…living a life. It is not a destination to be reached, it is an ongoing process and a way of living.
Living a life that is driven by your passions can seem overwhelming. Passion seeking can also be seen as intimidating! It’s not uncommon to like many things, but we often feel as though we have one true passion that needs to be pursued. This can be daunting and overwhelming and lead individuals to feel as though they are not managing to find their purpose in life. Instead of focusing on passion, why not focus on curiosity?

Curiosity is something that is a lot less daunting. It brings up very little fear, and in today’s information age, we have so many tools to help us find out more about our areas that interest or to connect us to others that can. In a recent Super Soul Session, Gilbert gave some very inspiring advice to those that may be having difficulty finding their passions.

Gilbert shares that there are two types of people in this world: jackhammers and hummingbirds. Jackhammers are extremely focused on their passion and they hammer away at it. Very little distractions get in their way and their motivation to pursue their passion keeps them fired up. Then she says, there are hummingbirds. Hummingbirds are quite different than jackhammers. If you were to think of a hummingbird in real life, they quietly move from tree to tree, flower to flower, cross pollinating with ease. She suggests that taking a hummingbird approach to seeking your passion allows curiosity to drive you. It allows you to build a rich life in which you learn from different places, follow what interests you, and take from different areas to build your ideas and perspectives.

We have moved beyond the age of education being only in a classroom. Each and every one of us has many teachers around us. Whether they be teachers from the books we read, the videos we watch, or the individuals around us, our lives are filled with teachers. In addition to being a hummingbird and allowing your learning to be self directed by your curiosity, don’t forget that your word is filled with teachers to help you develop your areas of passion.

So, if you are a passion seeker and unsure where to go, spend some time being a hummingbird. Follow your curiosity. Allow your curiosity to lead you to your passions and to help you develop your creative self. In the words of Gilbert, “And if greatness should ever accidentally stumble upon you, let it catch you hard at work.”

 I recently read the Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. What a great book to end the year with! If you have been living in a bubble and are unaware of who Shonda Rhimes is, she currently owns Thursday night television. She is the creator of three of the most watched shows on television:  Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder. Thursday night is extremely expensive real estate in TV land. So that fact that Shonda Rhimes has managed to have her shows appear from 8pm to 11pm straight, gives a hint of how successful this woman has become. She was also responsible for Private Practice, which also used to be a favorite of mine!

I remember when I began watching Grey’s Anatomy. It would have to be something major for me not to be sitting on my couch on Thursday night. Whether it was the Meredith and McDreamy’s love story, or Christina Yang’s fire that epitomized the best friend that many of us wish we had in our back pocket to either inspire us or kick our ass whenever we need it, Rhimes provided us with enjoyable, edge of your seat entertainment.

Transitioning from young and single TV watcher to a married, business owner with children TV watcher, has definitely changed my TV watching habits. I lost touch with Grey’s Anatomy, after its first few seasons but I jumped back on the ShondaLand bandwagon when Scandal joined Thursday night. Olivia and her gladiators drew me into their story lines. I enjoyed watching Shonda take her plots to the extreme and looked forward to weekly episodes and the next day discussion that followed.

Although life often gets in the way of Thursday night TV watching and wine drinking, I am thankful for modern comforts, such as Netflix, that allow me to binge watch at different times to catch up on juicy dramas that I’ve missed!

The creativity that oozes from Shonda Rhimes’ shows has always intrigued me. I always wondered about her as a person. She was rarely in the public eye. When I heard that she had written a book, I quickly found myself on Amazon and had a copy sent to me. Wow! Was it ever worth shipping it to Turks and Caicos! This book is great. Not only is it inspirational, but it is hilarious. I found myself laughing out loud, and not the kind of ‘lol’ that is overused in social media, but literally laughing out loud at public coffee shops…the kind of laughing that makes people turn and look at you.

Shonda shared about her childhood. She shared about her young adult years, about college, about becoming a mother, about her family and friend struggles. She shared about her fear of saying ‘yes’ to so many things in her life. This book birthed out of a journey that she took as a result of her older sister observing and sharing that she never said ‘yes’ to anything.  After some reflection on her sister’s comment, she decided to start saying ‘yes’ more often. She acknowledged that although saying ‘yes’ to the things that freaked her out and created anxiety was overwhelming, it also had the potential to change her life. She decided that by doing the things she feared, she actually was taking the fear out of the ‘doing’ and that make things a lot less scary.

In this book, Shonda shares so much about her life and her journey during the year of yes. I call her Shonda now, because after reading that book, I feel like we are good friends. We have known each other for years and been through so much! This is the type of biography that makes you feel as though you are connected to the author. 

So as 2015 comes to a close, I encourage you to read this book. Whether you like it, or you don’t, it will surely give you some things to think about as you enter into 2016. It reminds us of the importance of pushing through discomfort. It’s not easy, and it forces us to be vulnerable, but when we do, it can have a large positive impact on our lives.

I would like to close out the 2015 by leaving you with two of my favorite quotes from ‘The Year of Yes.’

“There is no list of rules. There is one rule. The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. Being traditional is not traditional anymore. It’s funny that we still think of it that way. Normalize your lives, people. You don’t want a baby? Don’t have one. I don’t want to get married? I won’t. You want to live alone? Enjoy it. You want to love someone? Love someone. Don’t apologize. Don’t explain. Don’t ever feel less than. When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it. No fairy tales. Be your own narrator. And go for a happy ending. One foot in front of the other. You will make it.”

"I am not lucky. You know what I am? I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of opportunities that come my way and I work really, really hard. Don't call me lucky. Call me a badass.”

Happy New Year!

Technology is amazing. It opens many doors for us and has the ability to help us simplify our lives while being our most productive selves. Despite not knowing what I would do without my computer, cell phone and tablet, I also know that not all the technological footprints on our lives are positive.

Being an early 80s baby growing up in Eastern Canada, I am of the generation that grew up with the first computer labs. Kid Pix and Pac Man on the school MacIntosh computers were weekly highlights in my upper elementary years. I also remember being so proud when I made my way through the frustration of semicolons and accidental spaces and finally got my arrow to turn from upwards to sideways in grade 11 computer science. I remember thinking, I went through all that frustration for that!

Fast forward to the 21st century and technology is such a part of my life as a mom, teacher, entrepreneur, daughter, friend etc. If it weren’t for people that fell in love with coding and switching the direction of arrows, we wouldn’t have much of our everyday technological comforts. So I am certainly not going to argue that technology is not good for us, but I think it’s important that we are aware that sometimes being constantly connected is actually hindering our ability to benefit from true human connection.

Human connection interests me. As an educator and trainer, I believe that much of the best learning is done as a result of the relationships formed. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you will remember the ‘Everyone Needs a Champion’ post which highlighted the late Rita Pierson who strongly believed that ‘children don’t learn from people they don’t like.’ She strongly felt and thought that in order to impact a child’s life it was important to connect through relationship with that child.

So how does all this relate to technology? I recently watched Cherry Turkle’s outstanding 2012 TED talk entitled, ‘Connected, but Alone?” My first thought was how the heck did it take me three years to come across this talk? My second thought was, the content of this talk is probably even more relevant in 2015 than it was in 2012 as my What’s App is filled with instant messages and voice messages that are recorded and sent in lieu of a phone conversation.

Throughout this talk Turkle highlights that our devices are changing who we are and what we do. She describes the Goldilocks effect, where communication can be ‘not too close, not too far, but just right.’ Technology allows us to put control over where we put our attention. It allows us to customize our lives. We can decide when we want to share, how we want to share, when or if we want to respond and how or if we will respond. Although this may seem empowering, it significantly decreases the amount of conversation that occurs. Rather than conversation, we have bits of text that happen over periods of time that do not really add up to a full conversation.

Turkle highlights that conversation happens in real time. Although technology may provide sips of conversation that can share important information; telling someone you are thinking about them or even love them, these sips do not necessarily add up to conversation. With real conversation, you do not have the same ability to control what you are going to say. Conversation is not like texting, posting or emailing where we can present ourselves the way we want to be by editing and retouching until the image that we want to present is just right. She highlights that human relationships are rich, they are messy and they are demanding, but when we clean them up we lose much of the benefits of these human relationships.

As a society, we may have gotten used to having automatic listeners through social media, but we are also getting short changed out of real conversation. Turkkle highlighted that technology allows us to put our attention where we want, to always be heard and to never be alone. This leads her to emphasise the trend of moving towards robots and technological devices that can provide empathy and compassion. After all, wouldn’t Siri make a great Best Friends with a few tweaks here and there? 

I challenge you to think about this for a moment. I challenge you to become more aware or yourself and the impact that your devices may be having on your life. Are they helping or hindering your human connections with your spouses, your children, your friends?

When I think of my life I’m thankful that technology can keep me connected to loved ones near and far. Like many others in my life, I lead a busy life, and technology allows me to stay connected with quick bits of conversation, and let loved ones know that I am thinking of them. However, Turkle’s talk put into words many of my thoughts about technology and human connection, and it was a timely reminder of the importance of true, unedited, real time, real life conversation!
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Some of you may have noticed, that there was not a lot of activity on Turquoise Balance over the past year. This was primarily due to the changes in the Robinson household. Our little family has grown from three to four. Maya is now a big sister to Jamell Jr., otherwise known as Jay. Having a second child has been a blessing and it has also been a reminder of how quickly your equilibrium can be thrown off!

Changes to the family structure, no matter how much joy they bring to it, sometimes take a little time to adjust to. Jay is now 8 months old, and I believe that we are in our groove…for now! One of the most interesting things about having a second child is seeing how different the personality of babies can be despite coming from the same parents.

From day one it was clear to see that raising Jay would be different than raising Maya. One isn’t/wasn’t easier than the other, but just different. Maya was a sling baby. She loved being carried around in her sling. If she could have stayed in there from the time she woke up in the morning, to the time she went down in her crib in the evening, she would have been content.

I first looked into slings and wraps when I was pregnant with Maya. The concept of ‘babywearing’ fascinated me. Not only did it seem like a great way to travel from one home in Canada, to the next home in Turks and Caicos Islands, but there was something about the contentment that I saw when babies were snuggled with their moms or dads in their slings. So at the time, having a lot of time on my hands, I read, I researched, I tried, and I finally settled on a wrap for the unborn Robinson.

When Maya was about two weeks old, I tried her sling for the first time. I was extremely nervous about putting this new born in cloth. I was so happy that it came pre-threaded and thought to myself that I may have a serious problem when it needed to be washed and I needed to put it together again. Once I got over the initial nervousness of having my baby strapped to me, we both relaxed. Maya spent the entire morning in her wrap and I adjusted her every time she was ready to be fed. Not only did the wrap provide her with that closeness of feeling likes she was still in the womb, it provided me with the ability to use my arms again, and a discreet way of nursing as new and nervous mom.

Fast forward almost 5 years and after sharing the sling with a friend, the sling has returned and I decide to test it out with the newest little Robinson. Ohhhh, no…he was not having it! After a few days of wondering how could Jay not like the sling, it occurred to me, that perhaps he just didn’t like facing me. Sure enough, the minute I put him facing the ‘outside world’ and he could see everything, he was very happy. Now that he is a little older I wear him just above my hip with his legs hanging out so that he can kick around as much as he would like.

Despite my children both having different initial reactions to being carried in baby slings, it has been clear with both of them that the benefits of babywearing are many. When we are out, the sling provides a great avenue for discrete feeding. This is very helpful when travelling. Not only is your baby snuggled into you, hopefully avoiding airport and other travel germs, but if you are a feed on demand mom, it allows you to help them remain content…which makes them better little travellers.

When a baby is in a sling, they are in a state of ‘Quiet Alertness.’ This is likely my favorite part of babywearing. They are so calm, but yet so alert, that they do a tremendous amount of learning. They see their environment through the eyes of their caregiver. Whether indoors or outdoors they are learning how their caregiver interacts with the environment and are taking it all in. In addition to observing and interacting more with their environment, they are also interacting more with you as the caregiver. Being on the same visual plane as your baby allows them to have their favorite thing to look at right next to them…your face! The human face is the biggest stimulator of bonding and development of interpersonal skills. When your baby is in a sling, they have front row seats to your subtle facial expressions, your tone, your emotions, your scents and essentially your entire rhythm.

Baby wearing isn’t a new concept. Although it may have developed popularity in the last few decades in the industrialized world, it has been practiced for centuries around the world. A big reason for its popularity has been the increased awareness of attachment parenting. In addition to the quiet alertness that infants experience when carried, there are also gains to the mother.  It isn’t uncommon to find moms feelings strain in their arms and backs from holding their babies and a sling helps you to reduce some of this strain.

So whether your motivation is bonding with your child, or having your hands free, there are many benefits to babywearing and I encourage you to try it!

In my first year of teaching I was exposed to the concept of colouring Mandalas. A behavior tech working in my classroom suggested that I use them during times of transition. I was intrigued with the idea, and so photocopied a wide array of them and had a pick up point in my classroom. I then had students take out their mandalas and color when they came in from recess and lunch. From day one it was clear to see the calming effect that coloring these beautiful patters had on the students. In addition to the impact on ‘getting back into class behavior’ I also noticed the pride that students had when they finished coloring these intricate patterns  and could choose whether to post it in our display area or to take it home to share with their family.

This concept interested me so much, that a few of my Master's classmates and I decided to do a literature review and presentation on ADHD and the coloring of mandalas. Although this was quite a while ago, I do remember that although there was a fair bit of literature on art therapy, there was very little on coloring mandalas specifically.

Fast forward to about ten years and it isn’t uncommon to find me winding down with my ‘mommy only’ coloring book and markers. A few months ago, as I was looking for ways to destress that didn’t involve a nice cold glass of Pink Moscato, I decided to get myself a coloring book. What a great choice!  Coloring mandalas, or any adult coloring for that matter, can have great effects on you!

Adult coloring has become a bit of a craze in the last year or so. If you were to go on Amazon and type in adult coloring, you would find an overwhelming supply of coloring books that cater to different personalities. Adult coloring has become such a craze that publishers are having difficulty keeping up with printing books fast enough! With the technology age, this has not been the type of problem that publishers have had lately!

So what is it about coloring that has adults hooked? On top of being found to reduce stress and anxiety, with the post happy society that we live in, individuals are being encouraged by the posts of others on sites such as Facebook and Pinterest. Coloring is a very accessible hobby that doesn’t take many tools and can train your brain to focus and simultaneously encourages creativity. We live in a society where creative problem solving has become a must, and to be able to destress, improve focus, and let the creative juices flow all at once can be a great asset.

So whether you are coloring by yourself, or with a group of friends while having great conversation over bottles of wine, I wish you happy colouring!

The slogan ‘Prevention is better than Cure’ is one that we constantly hear.  As a mom, I am constantly trying to think of ways to enhance the learning environment of my children. As an educator, who specializes in intervention, I too often meet children and teens who I wish had been exposed to certain environments as younger children.

Having parents of Caribbean descent and growing up in Canada and then living in the Caribbean, I have been exposed to the western and island ways. Both of them have their pros. Both of them also have areas that need improvement. Raising our children in the Caribbean, I am always cognizant of the fact that I need them to be able to function in both societies. I want them to be able to live anywhere in the world, and other than a little culture shock now and then, they should be able to be successful in the environment.

The old time Caribbean way, which many individuals have moved past, is that ‘children should be seen, but not heard.’ Although many of us have moved past this, many of us have not. Although this may sometimes be seen as obedience, this can also prevent a child from growing and reaching their potential. Children are born inquisitive. They are born with a desire to explore. This desire can easily put them in danger or get them into trouble, but as parents, family members, educators etc., we are there to act as the cushioned edges of the learning canal to keep them moving along without hurting themselves.

At Learn and Lead we put a great deal of effort into developing the critical thinking skills of our students. Critical thinking and problem solving skills are essential in today’s society. These skills act as a tool to help you improve all your other skills. We often want employees in the workforce to have critical thinking skills but we forget that these skills begin to develop from childhood. They begin to develop with language.

Some of you may be familiar with the metaphor ’30 million words.’ This metaphor is used to describe the differences in the amount of words in low income and higher income households between birth and three years old. The term ’30 million’ does not refer to the quantity of words, but more so the quality of words. In the first three years of life, parents and caregivers are helping to develop the language of their children and the words that they learn become part of their language vernacular. We know from research that children who are exposed to less words are also often exposed to less complex vocabulary, as well as harsher and more punitive speech. Conversation is less of a two way give and take process, and involves more directives and more one way communication. The language that is exchanged between a parent and a child is actually a window into the parent child relationship.

Research tells us that conversation tells us more than just about the parent- child relationship, but also has a huge effect on literacy, potential in math, spatial reasoning, ability to self-regulate behavior, reaction to stress and perseverance. So if we know all this, isn’t it important that we develop our children in environments full of rich language?

Although there is much that can be said about national agendas to improve language skills and the positive effects this can have in our community, I am going to stick a little closer to home and talk about a manageable chunk…our individual households.

My husband and I put a great deal of effort and thought into the constant language in our household. Whether with our 5 year old or our 7 month old, there is always an effort to have two way communication. I know you are probably wondering how two way communication works with our 7 month old, so I will say this….I am pretty sure he thinks that we understand his babbles when we are speaking to him! Like many of you, my husband and I also lead extremely busy lives and struggle to be able to spend enough waking hour time with our children. One thing that we have started to do, is to make a concerted effort to play language and thinking skills games during car rides to and from school with our five year old. Now, don’t let ‘language and thinking skills games’ make you think that this is a complicated thing to do. This can be as simple as ‘I spy’ or playing rhyming words in the car. This helps us to move away from the standard, “how was your day at school?” question, which is usually answered by “fine.”  And then the conversation is done. I often allow my daughter to make up our games. A current favorite, is “Guess the Princess.” We take terms describing a Disney princess and the other person has to guess which Disney Princess is being spoken about. Now…guessing Disney princesses may not be on the top of my to do list, but this game does a number of things: 1. My child feels great joy that she has made up a game which builds her confidence; 2. It allows her to expand her vocabulary with descriptive words, which she will soon learn are actually adjectives; and 3. It allows us to have fun together while developing language and building our relationship.
So parents, please remember that language development is extremely important. We need our children to challenge you with their thoughts and ideas, we need them to understand that they should be both seen and heard, because this is not only what will help us to deal with some of the current challenges in our society, but it will also help us to progress to where we would like to be! 

In an ideal world each and every one of us would be educated in a way that would lead us to the career of our choice and that career would remain exciting for the rest of our ‘working’ years. This is rarely the case in the 21st Century. Although some of us may change careers by choice, with unstable economies and changing needs and demands of the society, it isn’t uncommon to be driven to change your career in order to make ends meet. How can we prepare for this? Is it possible to set a plan B without knowing what the future holds?

Shifting career goals and pursuing a ‘career plan b’ can be overwhelming. In addition to the stress and anxiety that may come with changing careers, there is also a fair bit of uncertainty. Although you cannot control the uncertainty, if you are faced with a career change, whether expected or unexpected, there are a few things to keep in mind to help with the transition.

1.      Take stock of your likes and dislikes. When looking to make a career change it is worth taking a long look at what you like and what you don’t like. What types of tasks interest you? What type of tasks are laborious to you? These likes and dislikes will also lead you to think about your passion. When we can work in the areas that we are passionate, work feels a lot less like ‘work’ and we feel a lot more fulfilled.

2.      Make a list of your skills. Many of us have skills in one field that are transferable to another field. Take the time to make a list of what you think your best skills are and do some research on which fields your skills are in high demand.

3.      Check out local resources. Be sure to see whether there is a job placement center or any community or government programs that support career changers. Some regions have services that help individuals transfer from their current fields to high demand fields. Job placement centers, or other similar resources, can also offer career assessments that can help to guide you towards careers that fit your skills and that you may enjoy.

4.      Pursue further training or education. Whether it’s self-directed learning or enrolling in courses, if you see an area where your skills can use sharpening, or where you have an interest and would like to learn more, look for opportunities to educate yourself. Increasing your knowledge in an area you are seeking to enter can only make you more marketable.

5.      Don’t forget to network. Networking is an essential part of today’s society. Whether it is at a continuing education class, an evening cocktail party, or at your child’s PTA meeting, take the time to speak with others about what they are up to, and your interest.

The reality is that it is very difficult to plan for the unknown. It’s impossible for us to know what the future holds, but if you are faced with having to make a career change, try your best not to panic. In addition to the aforementioned tips, one of the most important qualities during times of transition is the ability to be flexible. Being flexible and open to risk and new opportunities can open a world of possibilities.   

This post was originally posted as Adapting to Plan 'B' in the Life section of The COCO Magazine.